Hello!! Today I write from my caffine addled mind, very hyper, very anxious, lets go. Today I continued my trend of good eating and working habits, spent a little too much time on the phone again, but that is alright!! Baby steps. After receiving an email back from my previous academic advisor from college, the day started off very well, she told me about the summer work she was doing, and that she will miss seeing me in the fall, very nice :). She said she would be happy to write a letter of reccomendation for the grad school, so exciting. After that, I went online to see if I could take a stats class just on its own in the local community college, and what luck, I can! lovely stuff, I simply drove over there, got enrolled, and bam, I'm in!!! so nice, means that I will fill all the requirements for the grad school application. It feels good to get some of the gears moving finally.
Still thinking about abbie sometimes, so bittersweet, it will take me awhile to move on. it just hurts still.
IN OTHER NEWS, had a neat conversation over a video that Jack shared: The <a> This is the video and here were my thoughs That's a really great video wow Ok so thoughts tho. This is kinds what I was getting at when I said I wanted to stsrt doing things for myself rather than for others, not exactly and I like this take even more, but yeah. I want to start doing things because I think it's cool to do, not because I want to be producing culture and right now I'm in the penopticon a lot of the time. But I feel like I'm slowly moving away from that. The journal has helped a lot. I'm reading again because I want to read, not because reading brings me societal clout. So that's my take on how it applies to me. On a larger level I agree sooooo much, i think most people I talk too have very little to say about their hobbies precisely because they are in the in this idea that they have to be doing cool things. NOT because they want to be doing the thing. Which means they really don't have a lot to say about what they are doing because they aren't doing it for any reason other than "I want people to think I'm cool" or "it's interesting". Not that you have to have an I depth reason for doing things but I feel if you don't at least have some sort of internal drive you'll always not be enough for yourself. Theres more to the convo but that was my initial reaction, very cool video none-the-less. In valorant I've begun to majorly improved which I'm happy about, almost always mid fragging, winning a lot more games, etc. thats all for today